When a son or daughter in their late teens or twenties is using drugs or alcohol in a way that feels dangerous, most parents want to help but are not sure what to do first. This article explains safe first steps, how clinicians decide the right level of care, what families can realistically do, and where to find trusted resources in New Jersey. This is general education, not medical advice. Placement and medication choices require assessment by a qualified clinician.

Understanding the situation: what clinicians look for

Clinicians use a structured approach to decide the best setting for care, taking into account medical risks, mental health, past treatment history, social supports, and the young person’s readiness to accept help. The American Society of Addiction Medicine, ASAM, describes standardized dimensions and levels of care that guide placement decisions, and recognizes a transition-age group that typically covers ages about 16 to 25 years. Families should expect an individualized assessment by a program that uses these standards. (asam.org)

High-risk situations that need urgent attention

  • If the young adult is not breathing, has lost consciousness, or shows signs of overdose, call 911 immediately.
  • If there are thoughts of suicide or an immediate mental health crisis, call or text 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline right away. For other urgent psychiatric or medical needs, seek emergency care.
  • If the person is withdrawing from alcohol or benzodiazepines and is tremulous, confused, hallucinating, or seizing, this requires medical evaluation because withdrawal can be life threatening.

These emergency recommendations follow national guidance for crisis response and for life threatening withdrawal. (samhsa.gov)

Level of care Typical goals When it may be recommended
Outpatient Assessment, counseling, medication management, early recovery supports Mild to moderate substance use disorder, safe home environment, stable medical/psychiatric status
Intensive Outpatient or Partial Hospitalization Frequent therapy, medical monitoring, relapse prevention Moderate disorder, need more structure than weekly outpatient
Residential treatment 24 hour structure, intensive therapies, address co-occurring problems Severe disorder, unsafe home, failed outpatient care
Medically-managed withdrawal (detox) Manage acute withdrawal symptoms, stabilise medically Severe withdrawal risk such as alcohol or benzodiazepine withdrawal, or when medical stabilization is required

This table is a simplified comparison. The ASAM Criteria and program clinicians determine the right level of care for each individual. (downloads.asam.org)

What parents can do right now

Parents often feel powerless, but there are practical actions that can help move a young adult toward treatment while respecting their growing independence.

1. Keep safety first

  • Remove or lock up medications and alcohol when safe to do so and when it will not provoke violence or escalation.
  • Do not attempt to medically detox someone at home, especially from alcohol or benzodiazepines. Withdrawal from these drugs can cause seizures and other serious complications that require supervised medical care. (niaaa.nih.gov)
  • Have naloxone on hand if opioids are involved and learn how to use it. If an overdose is occurring, call 911 immediately.

2. Learn the treatment basics

Know that for opioid use disorder, medication treatment such as buprenorphine, methadone, or naltrexone is effective and reduces risk of overdose and death. Detoxification alone without ongoing medications is not recommended for opioid use disorder because it increases the risk of return to use and overdose. Talk with clinicians about medication options. (cdc.gov)

3. Find and prepare for an assessment

  • Call your state or local treatment helpline to get referrals. In New Jersey, ReachNJ provides a confidential call line and connects families with licensed treatment programs and peer supports. (nj.gov)
  • Ask what intake documentation is required, whether the program treats young adults, if medications for opioid use disorder are available, and what insurance or payment options exist.
  • If the young adult consents, bring any medication lists, recent medical records, and a brief history of substance use and prior treatments to the assessment.

Working with a young adult who resists treatment

Resistance is common. Strategies backed by clinicians emphasize empathy, brief motivational conversations, consistent limits, and offering choices rather than ultimatums. Family involvement can improve engagement when done safely and with the young adult’s consent. Encourage small steps such as a medical evaluation, attending one counseling session, or meeting with a recovery coach. Evidence reviews recommend involving family members in treatment planning and supporting family health alongside the young adult’s care. (pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov)

When parental authority applies and when it does not

Legal rights vary by age and jurisdiction. For many parents of adults aged 18 or older, clinicians cannot share protected health information without the young adult’s consent, except in emergencies. Still, parents can seek general program information, find resources, and support logistics such as transportation or scheduling. Ask the intake team what information they can legally share and how to involve family members in care planning.

Medications, withdrawal, and special medical considerations

Medication decisions should be made by prescribing clinicians after assessment. For opioid use disorder, medications are standard treatments that improve survival and reduce harms; programs may offer office-based buprenorphine, methadone through certified opioid treatment programs, or extended-release naltrexone depending on clinical suitability and patient preference. Detox alone for opioid use disorder is generally not advised. For alcohol or benzodiazepine dependence, medically supervised withdrawal is often needed and may require benzodiazepines or other medicines to reduce risk. Pregnant persons, adolescents, and people with severe mental illness require specialized care. (samhsa.gov)

How to evaluate treatment programs

Questions to ask when you call programs include:

  • Do you treat young adults or transitional-age youth?
  • Do you offer medications for opioid use disorder?
  • What medical and psychiatric services are available on site?
  • How do you involve family members, and how is confidentiality handled?
  • What aftercare or continuing supports are provided after the program ends?

National resources can help locate programs that meet these criteria, and your state line can confirm licensed New Jersey providers. (samhsa.gov)

Frequently asked questions

Can I force my adult child into treatment?

Laws about involuntary treatment vary. For adults, most programs require voluntary consent except in narrowly defined emergency or civil commitment situations. Coercion often harms trust, so clinicians usually recommend motivational approaches, safety planning, and legal or social supports when needed.

Will medications for opioid use disorder make things worse?

No. The best evidence shows that medications such as buprenorphine and methadone reduce overdose risk and support recovery. Medication is one part of a comprehensive plan and should be considered after a thorough clinical assessment. (cdc.gov)

How much will treatment cost and will insurance cover it?

Costs and coverage depend on the program and the patient’s insurance. Contact the program’s admissions or billing staff and your insurer to learn about coverage rules, prior authorizations, and sliding scale options. New Jersey’s ReachNJ and program intake staff can help identify in-network options. (nj.gov)

Safety callout:

If someone is overdosing, not breathing, or unconscious, call 911 now. If someone is in a suicide or mental health crisis, call or text 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline for immediate support. If withdrawal symptoms are severe, get urgent medical care. This article is general information only and not a substitute for emergency care.

Compassionate next steps

1) If there is an immediate danger, call 911. 2) If there is a mental health crisis or suicidal thoughts, call or text 988. 3) Call ReachNJ to get a confidential, local referral and help navigating New Jersey treatment options. 4) When you are ready, request an assessment with a licensed addiction clinician to determine the safest and most effective next step for your young adult. For information about treatments, locations, and to contact an admissions team, see the treatment, locations, and contact pages linked below.

For confidential help with program options and to request a confidential assessment or to speak with an admissions team member, visit our contact page or ask for a confidential intake evaluation. There is no single right way to begin treatment, but early assessment and a clear safety plan are essential first steps.

Sources and resources

Internal resources: Treatment options, Clinic locations, and Contact us for a confidential assessment or to speak with admissions.

Remember: this page provides general information and is not individualized medical advice. Only a qualified clinician can determine the safest placement and the appropriate medications after an assessment. If you are facing an emergency, call 911 or call or text 988 for immediate crisis help.